Calista's Diary Entry - The Cut

Dear Diary,

The time came for the tryouts for next year's Junior Spirit Squad.  For an entire week, there were practice sessions which lasted for a couple of hours every day after school.  Girls from the Varsity Spirit Squad taught the Junior hopefuls a brand new routine, and we all had a week to learn it and practice for the tryouts.  I was pretty confident that it would be me, Kana, and Briana Joy again.  I missed a couple of days of practice because I felt that I could learn the routine fast, and that I had an advantage in knowing all of the old routines and already being a member of the squad.

Besides the three original members of the squad, Jenna, Big Janet, Gabriella, and Kiara also tried out.  I was shocked that Big Janet was able to tear herself away from her boyfriend Dylan long enough to try out.  The tryouts took place in the gym, and the Varsity SQ girls watched and judged, along with Miss Jones, the squad sponsor.

They split us into small groups and had us perform the routine.  I knew the routine well and I did a good job.  Big Janet did a pretty good job from what I could tell.  Gabriella was awful.  I felt kind of bad because I know that she worked really hard.  But I knew that she wouldn't make it.  Big Janet and Gabriella were cut after the first round.

For the second round, I performed the new routine with Kana and Briana Joy.  We all did a good job, and I had no doubt that it would be the three of us together again next year. Then Jenna and Kiara performed the new routine, and I admit that they were really good.  I still felt like the 3 original members had a big advantage, though.  Then Jenna announced that they wanted to perform some additional routines.  They performed some of our old routines, and they were great!  I had seen the 2 of them hanging around at our practices, but I had no idea what they were up too.  Me and Briana Joy looked at each other, and our jaws just dropped.

The VSQ and Miss Jones got together to go over the scores that they had given each of us, and to discuss their final decision.  It seemed like they talked forever.  I could hear their voices but I could not make out what they were saying.  Finally they came back, and Miss Jones announced that she would call out a girls name.  She said that the name would be for the girl who was eliminated from the squad, and that the girl should leave the gym immediately.  I was standing there thinking that it would be a hard decision on who to eliminate between Jenna and Kiara, because they were both so good.  I was absolutely shocked when Miss Jones called Briana Joy's name.  WHAT?  Briana Joy looked so sad as she walked out of the gym.  I knew that she would be crying later.  I was SO MAD!  How could they do that to her?

I stood there furious for a few moments, and then I heard Miss Jones say my name.  I looked at her.  She said my name again.  I didn't understand why she kept calling my name.  I heard some of the girls giggling behind me.  After calling my name again, she came over to me and said "Let's go."  That's when I understood that I was also cut from the finals.  I did not make the squad.  It felt like my cheeks were burning up and I felt humiliated.  As Miss Jones escorted me out, I turned around and looked at the other girls, and Jenna was smiling and waving at me. 

Once I was outside the gym, I heard Miss Jones announce "Congratulations, Ladies, you are the next Junior Spirit Squad to represent this school!"  I heard squeals of delight.  I looked into the small window on the gym door and I saw the girls jumping up and down and hugging.  Kana looked a little too happy if you ask me.  How could she be that excited when her 2 best friends had just been cut?  I was so mad.

I have been reeling from the experience ever since, feeling shocked, saddened, and angered all at once.  And then I heard that the girls would be performing at our final assembly of the school year today.  WHAT? Shouldn't they be performing NEXT YEAR?  What is the rush?  And how could they even have a routine together that quickly?  I sat in the audience and I felt sick as I watched them perform the new routine that we had learned for tryouts.  It was almost surreal watching them wear the uniform that I used to wear.  I was the one that was supposed to be out there performing, not sitting in the audience observing.  How did this even happen?

So I'm just thinking about all of the time and effort that I put into that squad.  What am I supposed to do now?  What does this mean for my friendship with Kana and Briana Joy?  We spent so much time hanging out on the squad, going to games, etc.  I mean, I'm just so sad about this and I don't know what to do.