I remember when I first made the Junior Spirit Squad, I was so excited. Back then, I really worked hard to be the best that I could be on the squad, because I almost didn't make it. I felt like I had something to prove. I have gotten so much better and I am so proud of myself. But as time has gone on, I have started to have mixed feelings.
My body is changing so fast, and I really have started to feel self-conscious wearing my uniform in front of everyone. We have to wear our uniforms to school on game day, and we sometimes perform at pep assemblies in front of the whole school, as well as at the games. My uniform seems to have gotten tighter and shorter
When I'm performing, it's like I can feel the boys staring at me. I don't feel comfortable with that at all. I heard one of the boys say that I have "more bounce to the ounce."
Plus, I am so much taller now. I don't look like I belong on the Junior squad. I feel like I look much older than the other girls now.
A while back, I told my mother that I wanted to quit the squad. She asked me why, and I told her that I just do. I did not feel comfortable with telling her all of my reasons. She told me that I can't quit. She told me that I had agreed to something, and that I needed to stand by that agreement. She told me that she and my dad had made an investment in me with this activity by purchasing everything that I need, and that I have an obligation to them to see this through. She told me that I also have an obligation to the other girls. She asked me what they would do if I suddenly quit the squad. I shrugged my shoulders.
She told me that the others are depending on me. She told me that I am part of a team, and that sometimes I may have to do things that I don't want to do for the sake of the team, in order to make us stronger. She told me that I also have an obligation to myself. She said that I have put in a lot of hours and a lot of hard work, and that I owe it to myself most of all to see this through. She told me that if I choose not to try out for next season, then that's my choice. But she said that I definitely need to finish this season.
At first I was upset with my mom for not letting me quit, but then I really thought about what she said. My mom is right. I gave my word, and the other girls do depend on me. And I depend on them. I remembered how excited I was when I found out that I had made the team, and I tried to feel that way again. The other girls have helped me so much, and we have all worked so hard. I won't let them down.
So what if I'm showing more skin than I used to. So what if there's more jiggle when I wiggle. I'm going to do these moves and do them well!
And I have to remember all of the ways that being on the squad has been beneficial to me. I've learned to dance and move in ways that I never knew before. I have become physically stronger and more fit.
I have become more flexible. I have become more confident and less shy.
But the best part is that I have had the opportunity to be involved in an activity with my best friends. We have spent so much time together, and we have had so much fun doing this.
For a while I thought that I would just do this until the end of the season, and then I would not try out again. I've really thought long and hard about this. Tryouts are coming up, so I needed to make a final decision. I've decided to try out again. Really, tryouts are just a formality. The Varsity squad had their tryouts recently and all of the same girls are on the squad, except for the ones who are graduating. I expect that me, Briana Joy, and Kana will all be on the Junior Spirit Squad again, and I'm looking forward to it.
That's one sweet diary entry. I am so proud of Calista- she is slowly growing up, but already has lot of wisdom and maturity.
ReplyDeleteOh, and you may not know those dolls: Missy Milly. This line has AA doll- Flora, in my opinion she is really cute. Dolls are really tiny, but on a new body she can be a nice teen :)
Thank you, MajorMistakes! I had never heard of the Missy Milly dolls, so I did a google image search. Flora is very cute! I searched on eBay and Amazon and could not find her readily available. Maybe I'll be able to find her in the future. It looks like she is manufactured in the UK, so I may have a bit of trouble.
DeleteAwww, too bad- she is v common here and I was hoping it would be same in other countries. Oh well, maybe one day :) Im glad you find her nice looking
DeleteI will keep an eye out for her. Maybe I'll get lucky and find her soon. Thanks for telling me about her.
DeleteCute post. I remember those times!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ms. Leo! I remember similar times, too. I was on the dance team at my high school. I loved dancing and performing, I loved all of the attention, but I was not very fond of some of our outfits and I was self-conscious wearing them. It could have been worse though, because the first time that the team looked at uniforms together, the majority of the girls picked out extremely skimpy, midriff baring uniforms made out of thin material. There's no way that I would've purchased one of those, let alone worn one in front of the whole school, and I would've quit.
DeleteI was a drum major and they had ordered new uniforms the year before. I was too busty to wear the new uniform so I wore the old one. Can I tell you that fur hat sweat my hair back in the worst way. I looked like Eddie Murphy doing Buckwheat. LOL!
ReplyDeleteLOL Ms. Leo! Ahhhhhh, the memories...
DeleteYay, Calista. Good for you staying on with your team. I never did team stuff, but I admire persistence and loyalty. And the health benefits cannot be denied ;-)
ReplyDeleteCalista thanks you, D7ana! :)
DeleteI never was on a sports team, but I do remember developing when I was 12 years old. I literally fell out of bed because my breasts grew overnight and they made me tip over. They were HUGE! I was so self conscious about them and of course boys AND girls had something to say.
ReplyDeleteI still say that these post should somehow be used for educational purposes because there is so much wisdom being spoken in here.
I can relate, Muff. In elementary school, I was one of the first girls in my age group to develop. I remember the boys in gym class giggling every time it was my turn to jump rope. I remember the the things that the other girls said about the one girl who was bustier than me, and thinking that they probably said those things about me when I wasn't around. Some days I didn't even want to go to school at all.
DeleteThanks so much for your comments.
I enjoyed Calista's We've Got Spirit diary entry. She is truly wise beyond her years. I am glad that she and other girls like her stick to their commitments in spite of any self-insecurity issues they battle.
ReplyDeleteI was in band during middle and high school. At the end of my sophomore year, the band instructor encouraged me to try out for majorette. I did and was one of the girls selected. I was extremely apprehensive about having to wear what looked like a sequined bathing suit and knee high boots but I had decided that I would face my fear that next year. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you view it, my home school was changed to an elementary through middle school that next year due to desegregation laws. I was forced to be bused a choice of four different schools.
At the predominantly white school the next year, those of us who were cheerleaders and majorettes were presented with opposition from continuing our former team/squad positions. The school just didn't know what to do. Those that wanted to continue these endeavors protested (and I protested with them on their behalf.) As a result, they were reluctantly allowed to participate; however, by the end of the first football season only one of the cheerleaders from my school remained a cheerleader at the new school.
While I protested on behalf of others, they did not receive any protests from me on my behalf because my desire to be a majorette or band member ended when I found out I had to leave my home school. Even though the majorette uniforms at the new school were not as revealing, I lost all interest and decided to continue to focus on my academics and post-graduation vocational endeavors.
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Thank you, Debbie. You were brave in a lot of ways at such a young age. It's a shame that the majorettes and the cheerleaders faced opposition when forced to change schools. I'm glad that you had a chance to enjoy being a band member up to that point when you lost interest.
DeleteThose girls were working it out! I loved all the poses and I can tell they were doing some great cheers. I was never a cheerleader or anything, but my son-from-another-mother, Tyler, is on his high school basketball team and I have been going to his games. I love watching the cheerleaders from each school to see who's 'bringing it'. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThank you Vanessa! I was worried that Briana Joy would not be able to keep up with the other 2 girls, but she held her own quite well. It's great that you support Tyler by going to his games, with the added benefit of watching the cheerleaders bringing it. :)
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