Fears and Tears

It was Nina's job to get her to the party, and Nina had her work cut out for her. Zalika did not want to go. "A Halloween party? What are we, 12?" Nina responded "No, we're grown-ups and we're going to go to a grown-up party and have fun!" Zalika just wished that Nina would quit bugging her about it.

Nina did not give up. She said to her friend "I hate to bring up the past, but remember when you used to bug the hell out of me until I would give in and go out with you?" Zalika said "How many years ago was that? Besides, I HAD to do something. You were so sad all the time, and all you ever did was work." Nina silently glared at Zalika until Zalika sighed and said "I see your point." Nina said "You owe me!" Zalika reluctantly agreed to go.

Nina told Zalika "You need to wear a sexy costume, like a sexy nurse or something. Don't come dressed as Quasimodo or some kind of monster." Zalika told her that she didn't know what she would be able to find with such short notice. Nina told her "Just so you know, I plan on being the sexiest woman at the party, so you need to try to give me a little competition." Zalika laughed a little and said "We'll see."

When Nina arrived to pick Zalika up for the party, she was impressed with her friend's costume. She asked "So what are you supposed to be?" Zalika said "Some kind of cat." Nina said "You're a sexy pussycat, that's what you are." Zalika turned around and said "Check this out: as impressive as my tail is, you're showing much more tail than me in that short dress!" Nina said "Shut. Tup."  They both laughed. Zalika said "I can't believe your husband is letting you out of his sight dressed like this."

When they arrived at their destination, Zalika looked at the house, looked at Nina, shook her head and said "Take me home RIGHT NOW." Zalika recognized the house that Palmer's adviser William shared with his wife Mallory.

Nina:  We're here now. Let's just go inside.
Zalika:  What are you doing?
Nina:  Going to a Halloween party with my friend.
Zalika:  You don't even really know them. Did Palmer put you up to this?
Nina:  Palmer asked me to bring you, and I agreed.
Zalika:  But why? Why would you agree to that? I told Palmer that I would call him when I'm ready. I'm not ready! And you never really had anything good to say about our relationship anyway!
Nina:  Well, I just didn't agree with all the secrecy. If I was a guy and I had someone great like you, I'd want to shout it from the rooftops. Anyway, we're here, we're dressed, let's just go in.

After talking about it for a few more minutes, Zalika agreed to go in for a while. Mallory greeted Zalika with a hug and said "It's so good to see you again! It's been months! Thanks for coming to my little party." Zalika said "It's really good to see you again too, Mallory." William waved from across the room and nodded at Zalika.

Nina and Zalika found seats. Nina was immediately approached by one of the partygoers, who wanted to know her name. She told him "My name is Mrs. Nina So-and-so." He asked if she wanted a "drank", and she said no thanks. He said "Naw really, I'ma go get you a drank." She told him no thank you, and that if at some point she wanted a drink, she would get one for herself.

As soon as the man was out of earshot, Zalika began imitating him. "Mrs. Nina So-and-so, I'ma go get you a drank. Naw, I won't take no for an answer, I'ma get you that drank!" They both laughed. Nina was glad to hear her friend laughing and joking again. Prior to this evening, it had been a while.

Zalika said "Seriously though, let's go and see what they have to drink." So they made their way to the dining area. They had drinks and mingled with the other guests, when suddenly Nina got a horrified look on her face. Zalika said "What is it? What's wrong?" Nina whispered "Behind you..."

Zalika turned around very slowly, wondering what horror awaited her. When she saw Palmer standing there decked out in MC Hammer attire, she was stunned for a few seconds, and then she laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes.

Zalika:  Nice costume!
Palmer:  Thank you, and you look lovely in your costume.
Zalika:  Oh this? Well it was either this or Quasimodo.
Palmer (after a brief pause):  Well you certainly made the right decision!

Zalika teased Palmer about dressing like MC Hammer, when he has none of his dance moves. Palmer protested and said that he can do some of the dances. Zalika said that she'd have to see it to believe it. Palmer said that they could go to one of the other rooms and he would show her his moves. Zalika narrowed her eyes and looked at him sideways. Palmer said "The dance moves! I will show you the dance moves." Zalika asked why he couldn't just dance right there, and Palmer said he'd only show her privately. He said that anyone could just whip out their phone and take a video. He said "I don't want to end up on YouTube!"

So Zalika followed Palmer to a room where they would have some privacy, and she laughed at Palmer's little boom box. Palmer said "You know I like to be prepared." Palmer started  the music and made feeble attempts to dance to MC Hammer's You Can't Touch This. She cracked up when he said "Stop! Palmer time!"

Zalika told him that if he was going to be MC Hammer, he needed to do the Running Man. Palmer said "Well let's see you do it." So Zalika did the dance, punctuated with her own exclamations "Yeah! What you know about that! Unh! Unh!"

When the song got to the part that says "Just for a minute let's all do the bump (bump..bump...bump...), they did the bump together.

When the song was over, Zalika said that they should get back to the others. Palmer asked her if she would call him the next day, and Zalika shook her head. She said that nothing had changed, and that she would call when she's ready, and she's not ready. Palmer told her not to be mad at Nina, because he's the one who asked Nina to bring her there. Zalika told him that she wasn't angry at anyone.

In the next room, the song Monster Mash was blaring from the speakers and the guests were doing the dance. Zalika recognized that they were really just doing the Electric Slide with their hands posed in front of them like claws. She joined in and motioned for Palmer to join. He hesitated at first, but he also joined the dance. Nina danced at first, but then stopped halfway through the song, saying that she was tired.

William and Mallory came in and told the other guests that they were going to show them how it's done, and they danced enthusiastically. 

After the dancing, Zalika went in search of Nina and found that her husband Terrence was now at the party. It didn't surprise Zalika that Terrence had showed up unexpectedly. In fact, she had come to expect his unexpected appearances.

"Make room..." Zalika said, as she squeezed onto the couch with the others. Zalika greeted Terrence, and said "You know, your uniforms are from 2 different series." Terrence said "Only a Star Trek geek like you would even notice." Zalika shrugged her shoulders and said "It was a good show." Zalika thought about mentioning the fact that based on their uniforms, Terrence would be Nina's commanding officer, but she decided not to mention it.

After a couple of minutes, Terrence said "Well, it seems like the party is winding down, are we ready to go? Nina said that she was ready. Zalika glanced around looking for Palmer, and when she didn't see him, she said that she was ready also. Nina took Zalika home in the same car that they had arrived in, while Terrence drove home alone.

The ladies listened to music and did not speak much on the way back to Zalika's house. Upon their arrival, Nina said that she wanted to come in, just for a minute. Zalika said that she was really tired, but Nina stressed that it would be very brief. Once inside, Nina asked Zalika what it had been like to see Palmer again, and Zalika responded that it had been "Ok". Nina just stood there, waiting for more. Zalika said "In all honesty..." and her eyes welled up with tears.  She continued "...it was pretty great, and it just reminds me of what I don't have anymore!" Zalika cried.

"Crap!" Nina exclaimed, as she put her arm around Zalka's shoulders. "Please don't cry! Please don't cry! I'm sorry I meddled. I won't do it again." Zalika wiped away her tears, straightened up and said "It's okay, I'm done. I'm really really done. I'm okay." She managed to give a weak and unconvincing smile. Zalika said "I actually did have fun tonight, which is something that I haven't done in a while, so thank you for that." Nina said "It was good to hear you laugh, and so good to spend time with you!" Zalika said "We'll do it again soon."

Late Night at the Sherwood Residence

Alan and Midge spend some quality time together.

Grown Folks Business

Thank you everyone for helping me choose a title for my stories featuring my dolls that are adults!  I appreciate everyone who voted on the poll, and everyone with clever and fun title suggestions of their own.  Grown Folks Business had 53% of votes on the poll, and that's the title that I'm going with.  There is now a tab at the top of the page called Grown Folks Business, and if you click there you will see all of the stories in reverse chronological order going back to the beginning.

So let's check in on Palmer and Zalika, shall we?  

Since the break-up, Zalika has thrown herself into her work, volunteering for extra projects at her job (much to the annoyance of her assistant, Vincent).  Zalika is also on the Board of Directors of the largest charitable organization in Roxville, and has volunteered to chair the committee responsible for planning their largest fundraising event of the year.  She has been going home late each night of the week feeling physically exhausted, but still has trouble sleeping.  Staying busy throughout the day has helped her to keep her mind from dealing with the pain of losing Palmer, but at night when everything is dark and quiet, her mind races with thoughts of millions of possibilities regarding her failed relationship and how things could have gone differently.

As Zalika sat in her office at work on Friday, she busied herself with one of her many projects, while simultaneously thinking of ways that she could keep busy on the weekend.  She was interrupted by her assistant Vincent, who came into her office and announced rather excitedly "David Palmer is here to see you."  Zalika sat there stunned for a moment while Vincent looked at her wide-eyed.  She told Vincent to send him in, and Palmer entered and closed the door behind him as Zalika stood up.  Her mind was racing.  This is something that he NEVER would have done during the time when they were seeing each other, why would he do this now?

Zalika took a few steps towards Palmer and said quietly "It's not a good idea for you to come here."  Palmer said "I'm sorry, it's just that you haven't returned my calls, texts, or emails..."  Through the window of her office, Zalika saw Vincent and one of the other assistants casually and slowly strolling by outside her office, looking through the window while trying to pretend that they weren't looking.  "Excuse me for just a moment...", Zalika said as she exited her office.  "Vincent, would you please book a conference room for me for the next 30 minutes?"  Vincent headed to his desk and said "Sure, let me just see what's available...  All of the conference rooms are booked."  Zalika tried, but was not successful at hiding the annoyance in her voice as she said "All of them?"  Vincent said "Well, no one is in Conference Room C, but that room is undergoing remodeling and there is no furniture."  Zalika said "That's fine, I'll take that one.  Just bring me a couple of folding chairs, please."

Zalika led the way to the conference room and Palmer carried the chairs that Vincent had provided.  Palmer caught a glimpse of her thigh as she walked, and he couldn't help but to think about how sexy she looked, even in her work attire.  Once they had entered the conference room, Zalika closed the door.  She felt more comfortable there, a room with no windows and away from prying eyes, with little threat of disruption since the room was currently not being used.  Palmer held her chair for her as she sat down.

Palmer sat down and said "It's really not my intention to disrupt your day.  I just haven't heard from you, and I really needed to know that you're okay.  Are you okay?"  Zalika paused and thought about how to answer the question.  Was she okay?  No, she didn't really feel that she was okay, but this really wasn't the time or the place to go into it.  After a long pause, she said "I'm making it."  There was an awkward silence.

Palmer:  I just really wanted to speak to you, to see you.  When you wouldn't return my calls or texts, and you wouldn't answer the door when I came by, I became... I don't know...  I just really needed to know what I'd done to make you hate me, and what I could do to make it better.
Zalika:  I don't hate you!  I could never hate you!  I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like this is somehow your fault.  I blame myself for all of this!  I'm just trying to get through this the best way that I can, and I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't know how to make this any easier.  

 

As tears welled up in Zalika's eyes, Palmer reached into his pocket and handed her his handkerchief.  Zalika had always thought that it was cute, old-fashioned, and rather sexy that a man as young as Palmer carries a cloth handkerchief in this day and age (monogrammed with his initials even).  As much as he hated to see her in pain, Palmer was relieved to see her show emotion, because that let him know that she did still care.  Zalika dabbed her eyes and then handed the handkerchief back to Palmer.

Palmer:  I want you to know that I respect your decision to end our relationship, but I want to ask you if you'd reconsider.
Zalika:  I can't even begin to tell you how many millions of times I've reconsidered over the past month.  I keep replaying things over and over in my head.  But it always comes down to the same thing.  Nothing has changed.  We can't change the past.  We can't control how others will seek to destroy you.  If we were to get back together, we would be torn apart again in what, a month?  A year?  Several years from now?  I can't go through this again.  This is too hard.
Palmer:  What can I do to change your mind?
Zalika:  My mind is made up.
Palmer:  What can I do?

They talked for several more minutes, but in the end nothing changed.

Palmer:  Well, can we at least talk sometimes?  I miss you so much.  I miss you helping me to see the lighter side of any situation.
Zalika:  I wouldn't be much help to you in that right now.  Not much is funny to me anymore.
Palmer:  Can I call you?
Zalika:  Eventually, I may get to the point where it's not so painful being around you without being WITH you.  I'm not there yet.  Let me be the one to contact you.

Zalika stood up.  Palmer asked if he could give her a hug.  She hesitated for a moment, and nodded.

Zalika allowed herself to linger in that moment, just for a little while.

Palmer held her tightly, not wanting to let go.

Zalika let go first, saying that she needed to get back to work.  "And by the way, I didn't know that you had come by my house.  I haven't been home much lately." 

Palmer nodded and stepped towards the door to leave.  Zalika stopped him, and asked if he'd be willing to do something to support her fundraising effort for the charitable organization that she served.  Palmer said "Of course!"  Zalika asked if he would record an ad for radio or TV to briefly talk about the organization and to advertise the fundraiser.  Palmer agreed.  Zalika told him that someone would be in touch with his people.  They said good-bye.

As Zalika walked back to her desk, Vincent said to her "I can't believe that I just met David Palmer!"  Zalika nodded and kept walking.  Vincent followed her into her office.  He asked "What was he doing here?"  Zalika told him that she had been trying to contact him to seek his support in her fundraising efforts for the upcoming event.  She said that Palmer was a very busy man, and that it was nearly impossible to reach him to arrange a meeting.  When he found himself in the area and with a few minutes to spare, he had decided to drop by.  They met to iron out the details, and he'd agreed to help.  Vincent said "I can't believe he stopped by here in person like that!"  Zalika told him that Palmer is the real deal and that he is humble, and that he truly cares about his community and strives to improve it.  Vincent said "Well, he's got my vote!"

Revealing It All

Nervousness.  That's what Palmer was feeling at that moment as he sat on the couch with Zalika.  He asked himself how he could be nervous in this moment, when he can be so calm and cool when speaking in front of thousands of people.  He put his hand in is pocket where he was keeping the ring that he had purchased for her.  He wanted to ask her right now.  He wanted to skip everything else and just ask her, but he knew that was an emotional response, and he was determined that he would act rationally, as always.

Palmer had known that he wanted to be President one day from a young age.  His father and his uncle (who had been a politician) encouraged him, led him, and gave him advice.  They always stressed to him to think rationally, even when faced with circumstances that would normally elicit a very emotional reaction.  They advised him not to act out in anger, not to ever cry, and not to even express too much joy.  They said that others would see strong emotional reactions as a sign of weakness.  So Palmer had learned from an early age how to compartmentalize his emotions.  He dealt with situations very calmly and rationally, and dealt with the emotional elements later.  Even when Palmer's father had died when Palmer was a young man, Palmer never once cried.  He took care of all of the arrangements, and others commented on how strong he was.  Palmer felt that the most fitting tribute that he could give to his father was to not cry over his death.

So he would have this conversation with Zalika very calmly and very rationally.  He would tell her what to realistically expect going into a relationship with him, and would also give her worse case scenarios.  The time for showing emotions would come late.  And Zalika knew him.  She had seen him angry, sad, and extremely happy.  He felt that he didn't have to hide any part of who he was from her.

Zalika said "So let's get this over with."  Zalika launched into telling Palmer personal details from her past, and Palmer calmly listened.

The things that she told him were mostly things that they had already discussed (in the form of Zalika telling him humorous stories).  There were a few surprises.  He didn't know about the photos that she had taken for a former boyfriend.

Palmer:  You need to tell me his name.
Zalika:  Why?
Palmer:  I need the name.
Zalika:  I haven't even talked to him in I don't know how many years!  I wouldn't even know any of his contact information.
Palmer:  I just need the name.  Trust me on this, okay?
Zalika [hesitantly]:  His name is Calvin...
Palmer:  Write it down for me, please.

Zalika did what Palmer asked.  She did trust Palmer, but the thought of handing him that information made her nervous.  Why did he need that, she wondered. 

Zalika sat quietly for a moment, trying to find the words for what she needed to tell him next.  Palmer said "There's more."  It was more of a statement than a question, but Zalika nodded her head rapidly, and then continued to sit in silence.  

Palmer calmly stated "I know that this is hard, and believe me I wish that we didn't have to have this conversation.  But the reality is, when I run for President, there will be individuals who will make it their mission to dig up dirt on you, and they will use that information to paint you in a negative light.  They will be ruthless in how they find their information.  Interviews with people from your past, school records, even medical records.  They may come up with a partial truth, and they will fill in the rest with lies.  And then you could find yourself in a situation where you can't even address the lie, because then you would have to acknowledge the small amount of truth.  And they will come up with horrendous headlines in order to sell papers or get hits on their sites.  If you've ever tried drugs, they will call you an addict.  If you've ever been treated for depression, they will call you mentally ill or crazy.  If you've ever terminated a pregnancy, they will call you..."  Palmer stopped, but Zalika filled in the blank by quietly saying "Babykiller" as she stared into Palmer's eyes.  He looked at her and said "They will call you that, and worse."

In that moment, Zalika knew that Palmer was already privy to information that no one was supposed to ever know about her, and he'd had that information before she'd had a chance to tell him.  Her eyes immediately welled up with tears.  Of course they had run a background check on her, why wouldn't they?  Palmer sometimes talked about the background checks that would routinely run  on others who came close to him, why not her?  Zalika began to cry. 

Palmer immediately put his arms around her and pulled her close.  He felt so helpless in that moment.  He would've done just about anything to wipe away her pain, so knowing that he was the cause was particularly difficult.  He told her "You know I would never have ordered a background check on you.  It's my people...it's just what they do.  I trust you.  You've never lied to me"  He felt her nod her head.  He said "None of that stuff matters to me.  Nothing that you've said and nothing that they've said have changed my feelings for you.  You are not alone in this.  I'm right here with you.  You know that I will defend you.  You know that I will try my best to prevent others from trying to trash your name.  You know that!"

Zalika raised her head and spoke.  "If you defend me, for some people that will be the same as saying that you condone everything that I've ever done.  It could become a distraction in your campaign.  You would lose votes because of me, and I just couldn't live with myself knowing that!" 

Palmer spoke calmly and reassuringly to Zalika, and told her that it would all be okay, that things would be difficult at times, but that everything would all work out.  Zalika kept shaking her head.  "I can't.  I just can't."

"What if you didn't run for President?  What if you remained in politics, but just did not run for President?"  Zalika heard her own voice saying those words, but could not believe they had actually come out of her mouth.  Palmer looked like he crumpled a little upon hearing those words.  He felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  "I've wanted to be President since I was 10 years old.  I've been groomed for politics since I was a child.  I've spent my life trying to make the right decisions and trying to align myself with the right people.  I feel with ever fiber of my being that I am on the right path, and that things are working out in such a way for a reason.  Being President is more than just an aspiration for me, I feel that it is my destiny.  I have to at least try."  Zalika said "I know, and I believe that you will win."

Zalika stood up and Palmer looked startled.  He said "This doesn't have to be the end for us.  I'm not running for President right away."  Zalika said "I can't be in a relationship that has an expiration date.  This is too hard."  Palmer stood up and took Zalika in his arms.  "I don't..." he heard his voice tremble, so he took a moment, cleared his throat, and started again.  "I don't want to lose you.  I love you."

Zalika had often imagined what it would be like the first time she heard the words "I Love You" from Palmer.  She had always known that he loved her, he said it in so many ways other than just those 3 little words.  Never had she imagined that the first time she would hear him say the actual words would be as they were saying goodbye.  Zalika said "And I love you.  I've loved you since the day we met, and I never believed that was even possible until I met you.

Palmer held Zalika close, and he kissed her.  She kissed him back, and then tearfully said "Goodbye, Palmer.  You will always have my vote."

---

Palmer and Zalika have been dealing with a lot of pain since the break-up.  Check out their latest video, "Unbreak My Heart" (with vocals by yours truly).

Need Help with a Title

I need a good name for the storyline on this blog involving my adult dolls.  I've been going back and forth for weeks now, feeling uninspired, unimaginative, and unoriginal.  I need to come up with a title so that I can have a tab of the top of the page where readers can click to see all of the stories in some order going back to the beginning.  I've come up with 5 titles so far, so please help me choose, or let me know if you have a better title than these.

Dollicious Tales
Grown Folks Business
Roxville Love
Majority Rules
Doll in Good Time

I've opened a poll on the right side of the screen for you to vote.  The poll will be open for 1 week.

I've had fun sharing stories about my teen and 'tween dolls through Calista's Diary Entries, but my grown folks have stories to share as well.

• Palmer and Zalika make a huge decision regarding the future of their relationship

• Nina and her husband face a crisis together

• Guess who's the wife of Brad and the mother of Bob?

• Alan and Midge want everyone to know what a happy family they are

My dolls live in the fictional town of Roxville, Oklahoma and some of them face complex relationship issues.  Right now the storyline focuses mainly on Palmer and Zalika, but others will get pulled in along the way.  Certainly, Adele and Darius want to come back and give a status update!  They do not understand how Palmer and Zalika have the prominent spot right now, and not them.  The stories will come sporadically.  

Thanks for helping me decide, and thanks for reading!

Next Steps

Part of Palmer's success is due to his ability to anticipate the thoughts and actions of others, and to plan his own actions several steps ahead.  He thought of it like a game of chess - he not only had to anticipate his opponent's next move, but the move after that, and the one after that, as many steps ahead as he could.  He thought of Zalika as a partner, not an opponent, but he felt that he knew what her next step would be, and he would be prepared.

Palmer anticipated that he and Zalika would have a difficult conversation, but that ultimately Zalika would say that she wanted for them to be together, no matter what, and Palmer felt the same way.  So Palmer had decided that he would propose at that moment.  He slipped out of the office a little early one day and visited a local jeweler to pick out just the right engagement ring.  He hadn't been there long when he saw William entering the store.  He muttered "Damn" under his breath.

William was one of Palmer's top political advisers, known as a brilliant political strategist.  William's experience, connections, and analytical skills had proven beneficial to Palmer time and time again.  Palmer had felt fortunate when William had taken an interest in his career early on.  One thing that William is not known for is his subtlety, and Palmer appreciated that as well.  When others would offer a breath mint, William would flat out say "Your breath stinks."  In his position, Palmer was surrounded by "yes" men and women, and he appreciated having someone who could bluntly say what others wouldn't.  Which is why he did not want to see William at this particular moment.

As William approached, Palmer asked "How did you know that I was here?"  William said "Do you really even need to ask?"  Palmer told William that he was not interested in what he had to say.  William told Palmer that the reason is because he knows that William is there to tell him the truth.

William:  You're making a big mistake.
Palmer:  I don't think so.
William:  You know that they will rip her to shreds.
Palmer:  They can try it.  I will defend her to my last breath.
William:  I know that you will, and that will make you vulnerable.  Has she told you about...
Palmer:  It hasn't come up.
William:  So she hasn't told you?
Palmer:  It's not as if she's hiding it, it just hasn't come up.
William:  If she hasn't told you, then she's hiding it. 

Palmer thought back to when he and Zalika had met and started dating.  He did not order the background check on her, but he knew that his people would run one on Zalika, because that's what they do.  It was William who had told him the findings.  Palmer didn't hear anything that had changed his feelings for Zalika, and he never told her about the background check.

William:  Look, she's a lovely woman.  Smart, charming, successful, funny as hell.  I know what she means to you.  Under normal circumstances, I would say that she is perfect for you.  But YOU are on track to become the PRESIDENT!  These are not normal circumstances!

Palmer explained to William that he understood that William's preference would be for him to meet a woman with a particular pedigree, particularly one with political affiliations that could benefit Palmer.  Palmer reminded William that he had dated women like this before meeting Zalika, and had been bored by them. Meeting Zalika and making a connection with her had been the most wonderful surprise of his life.  She excited him, understood him, comforted him, made him laugh, and so much more.  She was his partner, and he felt that he could face anything with her by his side.  Palmer said when he's elected as President, the job will be for 8 years maximum.  Palmer said that he will have a lot more life to live after that, and wants that life to be a happy one.  Zalika makes him happy.

William asked Palmer if he remembered when their associate Sutton had said that Zalika was a bit manly.  Palmer immediately frowned and tensed up and said "He was WAY OUT OF LINE with that comment!"  William said "You wanted to punch him in the face right then and there, didn't you?"  Palmer said "HELL YEAH I wanted to punch him in the face!"

William said "See, this is what I'm talking about.  Think of how you're feeling right now, and multiply those feelings by 1,000.  They are going to say things about her that are so much worse than what Sutton said.  They want to distract you and make you vulnerable to your emotions.  And when you defend her, they will attack you and use your own words against you."

Palmer turned his attention to the salesperson, who droned on and on about the cut, color, clarity, and carat weight of the ring that Palmer had asked to see.  Palmer purchased the ring.  William shook his head..

William:  You need to let her know what she's in for.
Palmer:  She knows.
William:  Does she?  Does she REALLY know?  Or have you been sugar-coating things because you don't want her to be hurt?  Do you want ME to talk to her?
Palmer:  Oh, no!
William:  You need to be frank with her.  Be brutally honest.  Right now she probably has romantic notions in her head about how wonderful it will be when you're both living in the White House and how you'll live happily ever after.  You need to let her know that there are wolves out there who will relentless seek to destroy you both at every turn.  Can you do that?
Palmer:  Of course.
William:  I know you, and I know that you want to protect her more than anything, and shield her from pain.  Being with you is going to HURT, and the only way that you can protect her from that is to let her go.

As She Ponders

As Palmer suggested, Zalika thought long and hard about their future together, and tried to realistically imagine what the future would hold for them as a couple when Palmer runs for President, and beyond.

Zalika recalled that many years prior, there was a bit of a stir in the media when a recorded telephone conversation between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles was made public.  Zalika had found a portion of the conversation hilarious, and had made friends and co-workers burst into laughter with her impressions of the couple.  Even Palmer.  Her impression had become butchered over time, misquoted and over-exaggerated for effect.  One evening, while Zalika and Palmer dined privately, the conversation turned to the royal couple and Zalika had an occasion to once again do her impression.

Zalika as Prince Charles:  "When I die, I want to come back as a pair of your knickers!"
Zalika as Camilla Parker Bowles:  "Ooooooooh Darling!"

Palmer had thrown his head back and howled with laughter, his mouth wide open and filled with half-chewed steak and potatoes.   Zalika was at once repulsed and highly amused at the sight of the dignified Palmer struggling to keep his food in his mouth.  She laughed until tears came to her eyes as Palmer pleaded "Stop! You're going to make me choke!"  They'd both had to take a break from eating in order to compose themselves once again.

So it's not so funny now.  Zalika imagined what it would be like if a recording of one of her late night conversations with Palmer were made public.  Humiliation would ensue.  Zalika winced as she imagined her mother's reaction, and worse yet her father's reaction, and the reactions of all of the people that she knows and cares about.  She and Palmer would have to be a lot more careful.  Zalika thought about reporters and their cameras with long-range telephoto lenses, and imagined their lives behind locked doors, constantly checking to make sure that the windows are closed and the curtains pulled.  Ok, she thought, so that's the easy part.

The hard part was looking at her own life through a microscope, and imagining how Palmer's political rivals would characterize her based upon her past actions.  She had told Palmer before that when she was in college, she did a lot of dumb shit.  She had told him some of the more humorous stories and they had both laughed.  But there were some things that she didn't tell him, and had never intended to, until now.  Palmer had known since he was a child that he wanted to be President one day, and was careful about what he did. And when he did mess up, he had help and support to make his mess go away.  Zalika had gone to a college that was several states away from where she grew up, in a place where she didn't know anyone.  She had looked at it as an opportunity to re-invent herself.  The problem was that she didn't know who she wanted to be.  So she tried a lot of things, and made a lot of dumb mistakes.  Never did she think that her actions would one day potentially be looked at under intense scrutiny.

She had made pretty good grades, but she had also partied.  She was particularly proud of her body back then, and wore a lot of revealing clothing.  "Ok", she thought, "there are probably going to be photos of a scantily clad drunk me that surface - what else"?  She thought about her Statistics class and how she had really struggled at first, until she went to her professor for help.  She ended up making an A in the class, but  "they" would probably say that it was more because of the relationship that she had then carried on with her professor than about the work that she'd done to earn the A.  Then she thought about the polaroid photos that she had taken for an ex, and how after they'd broken up she'd asked for the photos and he'd told her that he had already gotten rid of them.  Did he really get rid of them?  "Okay, if those photos surface, that could be a scandal, so that's something that I definitely need to make Palmer aware of", she thought.  She imagined those photos of her younger self in the pages of a magazine or on an internet website, and again imagined her parents' reactions.  She shuddered.

She thought long and hard about her past, even those parts that she didn't like to remember, and she felt fear and dread as she imagined her upcoming conversation with Palmer.

Weak

Who remembers Palmer and Zalika?

The last time we heard from them, they were on their way to Rod and Danielle's reception after having an intense and drama-filled trip to Morristown and attending the wedding with co-travelers Darius and Adele.  Here's a reminder for you:

Rebounding to Morristown

Tense Ride

Things come to light

Here and Now

Heart to Heart

Raise Your Glass

Where do we go from here?

Since returning, Palmer and Zalika have been inseparable, and their relationship has been as intense and as passionate as ever.  But Zalika soon learned that dating a politician can be complicated.  For instance, Palmer has always stressed a need for discretion.  For Palmer, that means having control over what the media prints about him, so it is particularly important to keep his romantic life out of the headlines.  For Zalika, this means that there is a barrier.  This means that they can hang out together and with small groups of friends, they can vacation together (usually traveling to the destination separately), and this means that on those huge occasions where she really wants to be by his side, she is in the background, away from media scrutiny.

And for a while, that was okay.  For all the time that they spent apart, they seemed to make up for it when they did get together.  They had incredible vacations together, even if they did have to travel to the destinations separately.

Once, they were actually able to travel together because Palmer had access to a private plane.  That trip was particularly memorable for them both.

And it wasn't as if Palmer was keeping her a secret.  Palmer's friends have known Zalika almost from the beginning, and Zalika is invited to small social affairs, as long as there is no chance that the media will be present.  

Zalika doesn't discuss her relationship with Palmer with very many of her friends.  She is careful who she shares information with, especially since her friends may not understand their relationship.  Her friend Nina knows about the 2 of them has asked on more than one occasion "I saw Palmer's picture in the paper at that event... where were you?"  Zalika had replied that she was there, but that she and Palmer are not letting the media know that they are a couple.  Nina said "You said what you would NEVER be in a relationship where a guy hides you away from the people in his life!"  Zalika had explained that Palmer is not keeping her a secret, they just don't want the world to know.  Nina responded "So you're not a secret to a few people, but you are a secret to the rest of world.  That just sounds weak to me."

In the past, it had been easier to dismiss her friend's comments.  Now it was quite a bit more difficult.  The prospect of talking to Palmer about their relationship and about their future scared her a little, because she did not want to lose what they had.  On the other hand, if this was a relationship with no real future, she had to know that.  She invited Palmer over and they talked for hours.

Palmer has this way about him that is so charming and so slick, and he has a way of getting people to do what he wants and making them think that it was their idea.  Zalika knew this about him and admired that quality, but she was determined not to fall for that (at least not this time).  She needed real answers.  Palmer was very attentive and reassuring and let her know that her concerns were definitely valid.  But this is what it all came down to.

Palmer said  "I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level.  I've lived the majority of my adult life under media scrutiny, and I've grown accustomed to it.  For us to be completely open about our relationship would be freeing in a lot of ways, but it will be stifling in other ways.  As you know, I have very high political aspirations.  Right now, all you really have to worry about is the local media.  Think about what will happen when I run for President.  Are you ready for the background checks that my political enemies will run on you, and how they will spin the information that they find to your detriment, just to get at me?  Are you ready for reporters to interview your friends from high school and college, trying to find your deepest secrets?  Are you ready for the betrayal you'll feel when your old friends sell your secrets to the tabloids to earn a few bucks?  Are you ready to have reporters going through your garbage?  That's just a little bit of what will happen."

Zalika paused for a bit, and then opened her mouth to speak.  Palmer said "Don't answer me now.  Think about it for a while.  REALLY think about it.  And then, let me know what you want to do."

It's been a mild summer, but Palmer and Zalika are heating things up in this video!  Check it out, unless you are easily offended, in which case you should avert your eyes.

Where do we go from here?

Darius slammed the limo door shut, and he and Adele stood there in stunned silence.  Finally, Adele spoke.  "This is APPALLING!" she said.  Darius bit his bottom lip and began pacing back and forth beside the limo.  Adele watched him with the same stunned expression on her face.  Palmer stumbled out of the limo a short time later, his shirt untucked in the back.  He assisted Zalika as she emerged from the limo.  Adele noted that the bow on the front of her dress was slightly off-center now.  

Adele shook her head and turned towards Darius and said "Well, you said that you liked the fact that she is spontaneous, HOW DO YOU LIKE HER SPONTANEITY NOW?"  Darius saw that this already awkward situation was about to potentially spiral out of control, so he hoped that he would be able to calm Adele down and quickly.  Calmly, he said "Adele..." but she cut him off.  "Of course YOU may call it being spontaneous, but I call it being a SLU..."  Before she could fully get the word out, Palmer turned to her and said sharply "You need to watch your mouth!"  Darius jerked as if he had been struck and said to Palmer "Don't speak to her that way!" and Palmer stepped towards Darius and said "Then you'd better tell her to shut her mouth!"

In the next moment, Darius and Palmer were standing toe to toe shouting at one another.  Darius towered over Palmer, but Palmer was not the least bit intimidated and did not back down.  As Adele watched Palmer puffing out his chest while yelling at Darius, she thought wow, is this the same guy that sat there flaccidly when Darius called me pretentious?

Zalika forced her way in between the two men, saying "Hey, hey!  Ok, that's enough.  Calm down."  The men reluctantly stopped arguing and took a few steps back.  Zalika said "Ok.  We should just go.  We should just get out of here.  We can still make it to the reception."  Adele rolled her eyes and said "Oh come on!  You can not honestly think that we are going to the reception now?  Let's just end this nightmare!"  Zalika said "Well, that's up to you.  These are your friends.  We can just go home."  Adele declared "I am not stepping foot in that limo!  I will make other arrangements to get home."  Adele began fumbling around in her purse for her cell phone.  Darius said "You know that we're too far from home for you to simply take a cab."  Adele snapped "Of course I know that!  I'll catch a plane.  I'll do something."  Darius said "It is very unlikely that you will be able to catch a plane on such short notice.  You'll end up staying all night here.  I don't want you heading out on your own.  I'd worry about you."  "Then why don't you come with me?" Adele asked.  Darius replied "Because I paid for this limo!"  Adele just shook her head at him.  She wasn't going to have this same argument twice in one day.

Darius said "If anyone should make alternate arrangements, it should be these two." as he gestured towards Zalika and Palmer.  Zalika said "Wait a minute, you bring us all the way here, treat us to a day of arguing and bickering, and now you want to leave us stranded here?  We don't even know anyone here!  No way!  I'm going home in that limo."  Palmer nodded in agreement and said "I did not come here prepared to make other arrangements to get home, and I will not be left stranded here."

Darius walked away and Adele followed.  Darius stopped a short distance away and began biting his bottom lip and pacing again, while Adele watched.  Finally, Adele said "Well this is really a mess."  Darius replied "You really have a knack for stating the obvious."  Just then, they saw Zalika approaching.  Zalika said to Adele "Pardon me MISS, do you mind if I speak to Darius for a moment...alone?"  Adele responded "Actually, I do mind."  Zalika had run out of patience with Adele and had taken a deep breath and opened her mouth wide and was about to give Adele a piece of her mind, when Darius said "It's okay.  Adele, give us a few minutes."  Adele hesitated, then walked away.

As Adele walked away, she saw Palmer making his way towards her.  For a split second, she thought about running, but of course that would be out of the question with the shoes that she was wearing.  She stopped and said to him "Just walk away Palmer!"  Palmer kept coming and said "I just want to talk to you."  Adele said "I don't want to talk to you.  Just leave me alone!"  Palmer said "I just need a few minutes." and Adele promptly replied "No!"  Palmer showed no signs that he was leaving, much to Adele's frustration.  He said "Just give me 5 minutes."  Adele let out a big sigh and said "You have 1 minute."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the parking lot, Zalika stood awkwardly in front of Darius.  She said "Sooooo, I guess that a second date is out of the question for us, huh?"  They both laughed.  Zalika acknowledged that it was a terrible joke.  She then apologized to Darius for the scene at the limo, but tried to explain things from her perspective.  When Darius had asked her to the wedding, he said that they would be going with a friend of his and her date.  He did not say that it was his ex, who he clearly still had feelings for.  She had put up with bickering and fighting and Adele's rude behavior towards her all day, and tried to make the best of it.  Palmer was the only thing that kept this from being a perfectly miserable day for her.  The two of them had found each other, and the timing wasn't perfect, but Zalika did not regret it.  She reminded Darius how he and Adele had gone off alone for a lengthy period of time.  She told him that taking all of that into consideration, she knew that he knew that it was wrong of him to even contemplate leaving without her and Palmer.

Darius acknowledged that he had not put his best foot forward that day, and that he regretted that he had lost his cool a couple of times.  He told Zalika that prior to the scene at the limo, he had made up his mind that he was going to apologize to her for how the day had turned out.  Zalika asked "But not now?"  Darius said "Noooo, I won't be apologizing now."  Darius said that as he was walking from the church to the limo, he was thinking of ways to make it up to Zalika.  "Of course, that's out of the question now." he said, and Zalika replied "Of course."  Zalika told him that she didn't care about that, and that she just wanted to get through the rest of the evening as peacefully as possible.  Darius said that he was willing for them all to ride home together, but that Adele had to agree to come as well, because he wasn't willing to leave her there alone, and he was not willing to stay there with her either.  Zalika shook her head and said "There's no way that she will agree to ride with all of us."  Darius said "I'll have to try to convince her."

Zalika and Darius walked back to the limo, and Darius thought of things that he might say to Adele to smooth things over enough to where they could all have a somewhat peaceful journey home.  First, he would remind Adele of their discussion in the church office, and tell her that it would be rather hypocritical to remain upset with Palmer and Zalika, when she was trying to get back with him just moments before. Adele and Palmer were already standing outside of the limo as Darius and Zalika approached.  Adele said "So, are we ready to go home?"  Darius and Zalika looked at each other with shock, and Darius responded "Yes, let's go."  He wanted to ask Adele what had changed her mind, but thought it would be best to save that discussion for another day.  As Darius and Adele entered the limo, Zalika quietly asked Palmer "How in the world did you change her mind?"  Palmer said "I'm a politician, so I know a thing or two about negotiating." and he winked at Zalika.

Adele was relieved to be on the road home, but was extremely annoyed at the constant chatter from Zalika and Palmer.  They were blathering away like old friends, and giggling like giddy school children.  She wished so much that she had brought her earphones.  She tried turning up the music inside the limo, but they only talked louder.  Darius just sat there silently, staring into the distance as if none of this bothered him.  Adele came to realize why Zalika and Palmer got along so well, because they really did have a lot in common.  They communicated effortlessly.  They would probably go on to have a great relationship.

Suddenly, Adele threw her head back and let out a loud belly laugh.  It was so loud and sudden that she startled the other passengers.  The driver even rolled down the tinted glass partition between them and gazed at Adele in the rear-view mirror for a moment.  Tears welled up in Adele's eyes and Darius thought that she would pull out her handkerchief at any moment, but she didn't.  Adele gasped for air and tried to speak "It's just so funny..." she said before she was overtaken by laughter again.  

By this point tears were streaming down her cheeks, and Darius watched in amazement.  "Here we are at the end of our relationship, we've come here to celebrate our friends taking their relationship to the next level, and we get to witness the birth of this new relationship..." Adele laughed some more.  Darius watched as make-up stained teardrops hung precariously from Adele's chin.  At any moment, they are going to drop onto her dress, and she will not be happy, or so he thought.  The tears fell and Adele kept laughing.  She said "I mean it really is ironic, don't you think?"  Zalika turned to Palmer and sang under her breath in her best Alanis Morissette impression "It's like raaaaaaiiiinnnn on your wedding day..."  Palmer stifled his laughter and nudged Zalika.  Adele said to Zalika and Palmer "If the two of you end up getting married, then you should make me and Darius your maid of honor and best man, because you wouldn't even be together if it wasn't for us!"

Adele kept going on and on about relationships and their stages, and the laughter kept coming and so did the tears.  At this point, Darius had difficulty in determining whether she was laughing or crying (maybe a bit of both).  He had never known her to display her emotions this way.  He looked at her with her tear-streaked face, and he thought that she looked beautiful.  He reached for her hand, held it and squeezed it for a moment, and then let go.  They gazed at each other and smiled.  Adele laid her wet face on Darius' shoulder, and her make-up stained his tailor-made suit.

Adele let out a huge sigh and said "Let's go to the reception."

Raise Your Glass

As Adele and Darius were having their discussion in the church office, Palmer and Zalika were having a discussion of their own.  They chatted about the long drive to Morristown, about the wedding, about Adele and Darius, and about themselves.  The conversation between them flowed very naturally, and they made each other laugh.  They felt comfortable together and enjoyed each other's company.  

When many of the other guests began to leave the church, Palmer became a little concerned.  He asked Zalika if Adele and Darius had told her where they would be.  Zalika shook her head "no".  Palmer asked if they had told Zalika how long they would be, and Zalika shook her head "no" again.  Palmer then asked Zalika what exactly Adele had said.  Zalika straightened up and became very rigid, raised her head and looked down her nose at Palmer, and said in her best Adele imitation "MISS, I need to speak with Darius.  Right now.  ALONE."  Palmer laughed and said "That was a pretty good imitation."  Zalika shrugged her shoulders and laughed.

Later, Palmer suggested that maybe Darius and Adele had gone back to the limo.  Zalika and Palmer walked outside but did not see the limo.  Palmer said that he thought that the driver had parked just down the street, and the couple walked the short distance and found the limo.  "Let's just wait for them here." Zalika suggested.  "Ok" Palmer said as he reached for the fully stocked bar.  During the drive to Morristown, Zalika had suggested that they all have a drink before the wedding, and Adele and Darius had both balked at the idea.  Zalika had later apologized to Darius, thinking that perhaps her suggestion had been inappropriate since they were on their way to a church.  "Oh no, it's not THAT", Darius had said.  "I didn't want to be in a moving vehicle with open containers, when there was a chance that some of it could spill on my clothes.  I'm sure Adele felt the same way."

Palmer found some champagne in the limo's bar and grabbed a couple of glasses.  He opened the bottle and poured them both a glass.  Then he proposed a toast:  "To Rod and Danielle - I don't know them but they seem nice.  I wish them much happiness."  Zalika raised her glass and said "To Rod and Danielle!" and they drank.  Zalika said "I propose a toast to Darius and Adele - may they both someday love another person as much as they love themselves.  And their clothes.  And their shoes.  And their money.  And..." they both began to laugh.  Palmer raised his glass and said "To Darius and Adele!" and they drank.  They continued on in this way for quite some time.  The more time passed, the sillier the toasts became, and the more they laughed.

They were still laughing about Palmer's last toast when Zalika said "To Laverne and Shirley - schlemiel schlemazel!"  They both cracked up laughing even more.  Palmer said "To Laverne and Shirley!" and they drank while trying not to choke on their drinks between their laughter.  Palmer raised his glass again and said "Ok, I've got a good one.  To...  US."  Zalika was taken by surprise.  She had expected to hear something silly that would make her laugh.  She wondered if Palmer was just joking, but by the look on his face, she could see that he was sincere.  She smiled broadly and raised her glass and said "To us."  And they drank.  And then their champagne glasses fell to the floor as they leaned forward and kissed passionately.

Was it the champagne that had lowered their inhibitions?  Were they moving too fast?  In that moment, they did not care.  All they knew was that being together in that way was far more intoxicating than the champagne.  As they began to undress each other, they gave no thought to where they were.  They just wanted to be together right then.  They both felt that this moment was like a dream.

If it was a dream, then they were suddenly rudely awakened when the limo door flung open and they saw Darius and Adele standing there.  Adele let out an audible gasp, and they all froze for a moment with startled expressions on their faces.  Palmer grabbed his jacket and covered Zalika as she shrieked "Close the door!!!"